Regret
by Graywinged
Summary: Alistair talks to the Warden after a betrayal of trust in Orzammar . Dwarf Commoner Background, First fanfic.


There's still blood on her hands, her arms and legs. If she were to run her fingers through her hair as a nervous tic, she'd find blood there as well. She knew when she set out to kill Jarvia that it wouldn't be easy, the two women had had a bitter rivalry ever since Beraht had first brought her into the Carta, and that Jarvia would be well equipped to deal with the Grey Warden but she never expected Leske would ever betray her.

She sighed as she looked around her room, it was nice and she almost felt bad for getting blood on the carpets, but a girls gotta do and so forth. She and her companions had taken shelter in Prince Bhelen's place, partly for fear of any remaining Carta members coming after them and partly because it was a maker damned palace, if you were someone who not a year before been considered the lowest of the low, you'd leap at the chance to sleep in a palace too.

A shadow stood in the doorway, blocking light from flooding her room. She turned, fully prepared to kick whoever lurked out so she could have more time to brood.

"Have room for one more?" Alistair stood there, half smile on his face, she couldn't turn him out so she nodded and moved aside to make room for the man to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Eck, your positively covered in blood, you might want to get that cleaned up. Can't be too healthy I'm sure."

"Ever the charmer, Alistair. Is there a reason why your interupting my brooding session or should I just make you leave now?"

He cleared his throat, unsure of how to proceed "Vavalim, I know you and Lester were close." He started, "It must've been hard to see him with Jarvia."  
She smiled at his mispronunciation, "Leske, and yeah we were. We've been friends ever since we signed up for the Carta together. It's funny, we both utterly despised Jarvia, when we had time in between assignments we'd joke about how we'd take her and Beraht down. I'd have never thought he'd willingly work for her."

"I didn't know you had been in the Carta." He frowned slightly, "Doesn't seem like your kind of life."

"Yeah, well there aren't that many options for a caste-less dwarf down here. It's either join the Carta and live a life of crime with the chance of getting out eventually or begging for spare coin and resign yourself to the Dust." She flopped backwards, spread eagle on the bed, "So it's not like he had much of a choice. That makes it even worse." She paused, looking at him thoughtfully, "Although, if it hadn't been for Beraht being greedy, I would've never been in the Proving, and then never in the Grey Wardens."

"Now that, is a tale I am very interested in hearing. Surprised they even let you into the Proving considering what I've heard about the caste system."

"There isn't much to it, honestly Alistair it isn't the grand tale of heroics you probably picture. Me and Leske had to drug a guy so that the one Beraht bet would win. Turns out the guy was stone-faced drunk and I had to slip into his armor. So I took out the three guys but Leske wasnt gaurding the drunk and he shambled out after the battle. Beraht and Jarvia threw us in prison, me and Leske made a grand escape, killing Beraht in the process and then Duncan ambushed us outside."

"Ambushed is quite the word there."

"Well I mean it's not like I wouldn't have leapt at the chance to become a Grey Warden, but it's like I didn't have much of a choice right then. If I didn't leave, I'd probably been thrown in the dungeon by the King. Or worse"

"Understandable, it seems most of the people in your group were criminals before the Joining."

She shuddered at the mention of the ritual, "Eugh don't remind me. Besides the only loveable rogues in the group were me and Daveth."

"Two out of three is still the majority." Alistair pointed out.

"Well, I don't know! I never learned math."

"Or common sense either it seems." He smiled, clear that he was joking.

She sniffed, "Well I'm caste-less, I never had a formal education. You're just lucky I can read."

"That's-" Whatever he was going to fire back died on his lips. "That's just sad."

"Yeah, that's the caste system. So many people have no choice about where they end up, it's terrible."

Their conversation tapered off, into an oddly comfortable silence. The only sounds were the crackling of fire and the noises of servants out in the hall.

"So, ah, to turn the conversation away from such cheerful thoughts such as being regarded as trash, what exactly was Leske and yours relationship with each other? Good friends is obvious but?"

Vivalim regarded Alistair carefully before answering. "You were there when me and Leske first talked in the Dusts right? You heard him call me Salroka?"

Alistair nodded, "Yeah, though I have no clue what that means."

"Isn't that true for a lot of things with you though?" She shot a smile at him.

"Ha ha yes, you're truly the ace of wit." He rolled his eyes at the dwarf. "Are you going to explain what salroka means or shall I have a look in the dictionary?"

She took a deep breath, carefully considering her words before jumping into the explanation. "In theory, it simply means friend, or one at my side, but in practice..." She hesitated, preparing to go into this without making it sound like she and Leske were more then what they were. "In practice salroka gets a much more meaningful tone amongst friends. Someone you'd die for, you'd go to the ends of the world for, that would be your salroka. It's not as much of a throwaway term as the nobles like to think. It's not exactly common either. Few people consider each other such in the Dusts because of how desperate they are. Friends don't beat having a full stomach."

"Did you consider yourself to be a salroka of Leske?"

She stiffened, not entirely sure of the answer herself. "Yeah, yeah I guess I did. That's why I'm so mad about this, if we weren't so close to each other it would've been no big deal. I would've helped him out if I knew how desperate the old bag was."

"There's not much you could've done. He was out against us the moment we met him, remember? He led us right into the trap."

"That's true. Thank you Alistair, I-I appreciate you coming in. It really does help to talk about it." Alistair nodded, getting up to leave, content with the fact that the reason why he came in was complete.

He walked to the door before hesitating. "And Vivalim?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not sure if it's appropriate for me, being human and all, but I certainly consider you a salroka, as I'm sure the rest of your companions do." He walked out with that, leaving a grinning Vivalim behind.

**And that's my first Dragon Age Fanfic, I'm sorry if it seems out of character, I'm hardly through the first game but I just had to stop and write something after Leske's death because of the person I feel my Warden is. I'm sorry this was dumb. I've been out of the fanfic writing game for a while. And I also didn't have a Beta but that was probably obvi. Haha thank you again for taking the time to read this~**


End file.
